Jeff Duntemann's Contrapositive Diary Rotating Header Image

October 31st, 2009:

Contest: 1-Verse Filk

I’ve had a bummer couple of weeks for many reasons, most of them relating to Global Cooling and a mild skin rash on several of my knuckles. So I need to increase the silliness factor a little, and am hereby mounting a contest, with real prizes.

The challenge: Submit a 1-verse filk; that is, a short parody song with original funny words to only one verse, what ur-filker Allan Sherman called a “schtick.” It has to be a funny filk, and the contest will be judged by people who know what “funny” means. (They will not necessarily be filkers. I will have a vote.) The tune can be anything, but it has to be a tune that has some chance of being recognized by a reasonable number of people. The song should only be one verse long; brevity is the soul of damned near everything, humor not the least of it. You can send me more verses, but your chances of winning decrease with each verse submitted beyond the first.

All entries should be submitted as comments to this blog. Your choice which site, and if you feel so inclined, submit entries to both sites. Being in both places does not increase your chances, though it may increase the number of people who see your entry. The two sites, in case you only ever read one, are LiveJournal, and WordPress.

No other rules except: Use no dirty words that will get either of us into trouble. Numerous things rhyme with “duck” and even more with “wit.” (Here’s a rhyming dictionary, in case you get stuck.)

The winner will be judged by Thanksgiving Day, or as soon thereafter as I get at least three entries. If I don’t get three entries by Christmas, we’ll call it done and both entries will get prizes. The prize will consist of your choice of one from the following list:

  • One copy of any title from the Copperwood Press catalog.
  • One copy of Assembly Language Step By Step.
  • A variable capacitor from my collection. I’ll test it for shorts before shipping.
  • A TO-36 auto radio power transistor from my collection. Sub a 6SN7 if you’re allergic to germanium.
  • Anything else somebody sends me to be a prize, to be listed later.

Hey, if that don’t get your mouth watering, what will? And in case you’re not sure what a one-verse filk is, let me show you:

Let There Be Fleas on Earth

(To: “Let There Be Peace on Earth”)

Let there be fleas on Earth, but keep them away from me;

Let there be toads and snails, but not where I can see!

To love each creature’s obnoxious features would drive me up a tree–

So let there be fleas on Earth, but keep them away….from me!

Shirley, you can all do better than that. So get on it!