Fifty years ago today, Carol and I clasped hands at the altar of St. John Brebeuf Church in Niles, Illinois, and spoke our vows, each to the other:
My beloved, over these past seven years you have become my best friend. By these words we are one, and let this path we are beginning have no end.
I promise always to listen, for you have much to say and I have much to learn.
When there is conflict I will compromise; when there is triumph I will rejoice.
When I err I will ask forgiveness. When you ask for forgiveness I will forgive.
Let my embrace be your refuge. Your touch will be my peace.
I give you all I am, in the hope that you may become all you can be.
All of these promises have been kept, in both directions. Our secret? We met when we were young (16 and 17), and built our shared lives on a transcendent friendship that emerged slowly from conversation, respect, kindness, and a strong desire to share time and (eventually) our lives with one another. We talked, we took walks, we flew kites, we danced (she is a spectacular dancer—and I tried my best) went to movies, concerts, plays (including one that she was in!), picnics, family dinners, and had quiet evenings of conversation while the music of our vinyl albums played on the family stereo. We kissed and we cuddled, but did not let lust dominate our feelings for one another. We spoke in depth about marriage and shared lives, and in 1975 we proposed to one another on a bluff in Wisconsin overlooking the Mississippi river. It took a year to get our wedding together, but we got there, in high style.
Fifty years later, we have never been more in love, more committed to one another, and more grounded in unshakable friendship. I call friendship the cornerstone of the human spirit because it is (and has long been) the cornerstone of our lives together. Our lives continue, and we will celebrate each year that passes as we celebrate today, savoring our memories and looking forward to as much life as by God’s grace we may share, here and hereafter.
To life, love, and friendship! 50 years is only the beginning!
