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May, 2025:

More Grok. More Crock.

Everybody’s going nuts over AI—and tossing endless billions into the AI funding pot. I’m skeptical (about that and plenty of other things) and I run tests now and then to see whether that skepticism is justified.

Hoo-boy! Got another Grok crock in a hammerlock, to coin a (useless) phrase.

Last night when I was beginning to wind down for the night, I decided to throw another question at Grok, the X/Twitter AI. Here’s the question: "What are Jeff Duntemann’s humorous works of SF and fantasy?" Here’s what it said:


Jeff Duntemann’s humorous works in science fiction and fantasy, based on available information, primarily include:

  1. Firejammer (Science Fiction, 2017): A short novel (or novella, depending on classification) that’s a playful homage to 1960s-90s pulp sci-fi. It follows a shapeshifting alien, Flammenwerfer O’Bernt, who crash-lands on Earth and gets entangled in comedic misadventures with humans. Readers on Goodreads (4.0 rating) praise its lighthearted, humorous tone, witty dialogue, and absurd scenarios, comparing it to Douglas Adams or Robert Sheckley. Its brevity and focus on fun make it a standout for humor.

  2. Short Stories in Ten Gentle Opportunities (Fantasy/Science Fiction, 2016): This collection of short stories blends humor with speculative elements. Notable stories include:

    • “Whale Meat”: A comedic fantasy tale about a magical spell gone wrong, with absurd and whimsical consequences.

    • “Drumlin Boiler” and “Drumlin Amplifier”: Part of Duntemann’s Drumlin series, these stories mix fantasy with quirky, humorous worldbuilding, featuring magical artifacts and eccentric characters in a steampunk-inspired setting. Readers note the dry wit and clever premises.

    • Other stories in the collection, like those involving time travel or oddball tech, often carry a satirical or lighthearted edge, though not all are overtly comedic.

Notes:

  • Duntemann’s humor leans toward witty, satirical, and absurd rather than slapstick, often poking fun at genre tropes or human quirks.

  • The Cunning Blood (2005), his other major novel, has some satirical elements but is primarily a serious hard SF thriller, not a humorous work.

  • His short fiction, especially in Ten Gentle Opportunities, is where most of his comedic fantasy and SF shines, as he experiments with whimsical ideas and quirky characters.

  • Limited information exists on other humorous works, as Duntemann’s output is relatively small, and some stories (e.g., from Drumlins or Soul Bent series) remain unpublished or obscure.


If you’re the least bit familiar with my fiction, you’ll probably spot some elements of Grok’s acid trip. (Calling them “hallucinations” is a slander on the word “hallucinations.”) So let me lay them all out in a bulleted list:

  • Firejammer was published in 2019, not 2017.
  • It takes place on an alien planet, not Earth.
  • Although there is some humor on the surface, the novel’s theme is serious, and there is plenty of danger, mayhem, and potentially fatal situations.
  • There are no shapeshifting aliens in the story, certainly none named “Flammenwerfer O’Bernt”. (The German word Flammenwerfer means “flamethrower.”) I checked several search engines and saw not one hit for “Flammenwerfer O’Bernt.” Grok made it up from whole cloth.
  • I checked Goodreads, where Firejammer has 3 reviews. None of the reviews emphasize its humor, nor compare the work to Douglas Adams or Robert Sheckley. Maybe this is picking nits, but the novel has earned a 4.6 rating there, not 4.0.
  • Ten Gentle Opportunities is humorous. But it’s a novel, not a collection of short stories.
  • “Whale Meat” is a dead serious fantasy story, without any humor at all.
  • I have attempted but never finished (much less published) a time-travel story, and don’t much care for them as a category.
  • There is no story named “Drumlin Amplifier” by me or anyone else. Intriguing title, though.
  • “Soul Bent” is not an SF book series. It’s a rock band.

You get the idea. I think the problem is this: If you ask an AI like Grok about a well-known figure, author, musician, whatever, you’ll probably get correct answers, with perhaps an occasional slip. I’m not famous but I’ve been around for a long time and there is plenty of material about me online. It looks like, when Grok doesn’t have enough information for a quick answer (what I quoted above happened in less than ten seconds) it starts making things up.

The one thing Grok simply can’t say is, “I don’t know.”

I am supremely puzzled by one thing: Grok completely botched descriptions of two of my books, both of which are published on KDP and have detailed descriptions posted there.

Anyway. You get the idea. Be careful with AI. I think of it as the poltergeist of computing: It throws data around, emits odd statements, and tells lies anytime it damned well pleases.

New Edition of FreePascal From Square One

Once I got The Everything Machine published on KDP this past March, I went back to a project I’ve tinkered with for almost 15 years: FreePascal from Square One, a 354-page PDF providing an introduction to programming, using the FreePascal FOSS compiler and the Lazarus IDE for editing and building. I need to mention here that the book does not go into Windows programming, OOP, software components, or the Lazarus GUI builder. I have a concept for a second book for those topics, and have written some of it, and borrowed a little from my portions of The Delphi 2 Explorer. No schedule yet, but I work on it when time permits.

FreePascal from Square One really is a free ebook. It’s a distillation of the four editions of my Pascal tutorial, Complete Turbo Pascal, which first appeared in 1985 and culminated in Borland Pascal 7 From Square One in 1993. I sold a lot of those books and made plenty of money, so I’m now giving it away, in hopes of drawing more people into the Pascal universe.

The book begins at the beginning of the beginning, and explains the ideas behind programming, drawing on metaphors from daily life, before jumping into coding. I’ve turned loose increasingly polished revisions on a regular basis since 2011 or so. This one has things none of the earlier revisions had: A new chapter on simple Pascal file I/O, and a clickable table of contents.

The TOC thing made me nuts for awhile. I tried to make it work using InDesign, but InDesign (my 2005-era copy, at least) can’t do it. I know it can be done—I have a couple of technical ebook PDFs with clickable TOCs—but needed to buy a high-end PDF editing tool to make it work. The product is PDF X-Change Pro from Tracker Software. It’s not free, but if you do any amount of work with PDFs, it’s essential. The Pro-level product comes with a 1,372-page manual—in PDF format, of course. It took me most of a day plowing through that monster manual to find out how to make clickable links in PDFs, but once I located that part, adding links to the TOC took me less than an hour.

It’s not tied to TOCs. You can define a clickable rectangle anywhere in a PDF, and specify what page that clickable rectangle will send you to. I drew rectangles all around the lines in the TOC, then right-clicked each rectangle and specified a destination page number for each line.

If you want the book, it’s right here. You’re welcome to share it around, post it on your site, or give it to anyone who might be find it useful. If you’re interested in FreePascal and Lazarus, here’s where to go to download them. They’re as close as you’ll get to Delphi in the free software universe, and it’s about the only programming environment that I use these days, unless I duck back into x64 assembly. Give it a try. It’s bogglingly good.