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I Should’ve Been a Jedi

Hey, country music fans, find yourself an overripe banana (or in Sarah Hoyt’s universe, a ten-pound carp) and get your swingin’ arm ready. I used to write a lot of filk songs but got out of the habit twenty or thirty years ago. Well…guess what?

Just in case you’re not familiar with the original, it’s on YouTube.

I Should’ve Been a Jedi

(By Jeff Duntemann; to Toby Keith’s “I Should’ve Been a Cowboy”)


I’ll bet you never heard ol’ Luke Skywalker say:

“Princess Leia, have you ever thought of runnin’ away?

Settlin’ down, would ya marry me?

(or at least get me the hell away from Tatooine..)”


She’d’ve said “yukkh!” in a New York minute;

Incest’s against the law; there’s no future in it.

She just stole a kiss as they swung away;

Luke never let his hormones…get out of place.



I should’ve been a Jedi

I should’ve learned there is no “try…”

Wavin’ my light saber, knockin’ the arms right off some ugly guy.

Blowin’ them Empire ships

Right out of the sky;

Nukin’ those Death Star cores;

Oh, I shoulda been a Jedi.


I mighta had a sidekick with a fuzzy mane,

Flyin’ blind by the Force, just like Ben explained.

Takin’ potshots at a Tusken Raider;

Givin’ a hand to your daddy Vader…


Blast off, young man, ain’tcha seen them flicks?

Outer space is full of rayguns, wookies, and chicks!


Sleepin out all night inside a tauntaun’s guts,

With my dreams in the stars instead of freezin’ my butt…


(Refrain X2)

I should’ve been a Jedi!

I should’ve been a Jedi!


  1. Sabrina says:

    LOL. What you on and why ain’t you sharin’ LMAO :). Love IT!

  2. Erbo says:

    Jeff, what are you on, and what dispensary did you pick it up from, so I can get some, too? 🙂

    1. I’ve been writing these since long before I even knew what weed was. In the genes, I suspect…

  3. I may have to try some of those lyrics the next time I use “Should’ve Been A Cowboy” for a singing call!

  4. TRX says:

    > there is no “try…”

    When I saw that the first time at the movies I went “WTF?!”

    Most people seem to think that means something positive, but “do, or do not. There is no ‘try'” breaks down to “if there’s any chance of failure, don’t bother.

    I guess that’s why a Jedi Master was hiding out in a swamp…

  5. […] of the 1990s. (And if you’ve never seen my filk “Should’ve Been a Jedi,” you can find it here.) Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon […]

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